Back in Hotel Pappanappa

Well clinic didn't go according to plan. On Wednesday I awoke with a really bad headache and feeling sick and it didn't improve all day. On Thursday I got another headache late morning and agaon felt sick. This worried me so I phoned the hospital and spoke to my CF nurse Cath. She got Dennis one of the consultants to phone me back. He didn't think it was my C02 levels owing to the way I described my pain, but as I was due in clinic the next day he would review me then. Friday morning and I was in a real state, mass panics attacks. By the time I got to clinic in the afternoon my sats were 81% on 3 litres. But the bizarre thing is after they panicked and rushed me onto the ward, the capillary blood gas they got from my ear showed sats 89% on 2 litres and normal C02.

I tend to think my headaches were a migraine, I do get them very rarely and also tend to forget that I do. I'm glad I 'm not as bad as first thought but they still are keeping me in and maybe for longer than two weeks. This isn't great news but they are intending to boost me up and make me feel stronger and more able to cope. This winter has left me exhausted, mentally and physically. Sometimes I feel my head rules my body, so Ive asked for my antidepressant to be upped again to try to regain my balance. If I can remain calm, then that will help my panic attacks which can stop me doing everything.

Roll on the spring with the nice warm days. Ive so many plans for the backyard and allotment but I can't do it stuck in bed. Its strange but I'm not depressed about the thought of the transplant, but upset by the way I seem to have lost all my independance since my noro virus. I think I can regain my strength, but its going to take a long time.