Back in Hotel Pappanappa

Well clinic didn't go according to plan. On Wednesday I awoke with a really bad headache and feeling sick and it didn't improve all day. On Thursday I got another headache late morning and agaon felt sick. This worried me so I phoned the hospital and spoke to my CF nurse Cath. She got Dennis one of the consultants to phone me back. He didn't think it was my C02 levels owing to the way I described my pain, but as I was due in clinic the next day he would review me then. Friday morning and I was in a real state, mass panics attacks. By the time I got to clinic in the afternoon my sats were 81% on 3 litres. But the bizarre thing is after they panicked and rushed me onto the ward, the capillary blood gas they got from my ear showed sats 89% on 2 litres and normal C02.

I tend to think my headaches were a migraine, I do get them very rarely and also tend to forget that I do. I'm glad I 'm not as bad as first thought but they still are keeping me in and maybe for longer than two weeks. This isn't great news but they are intending to boost me up and make me feel stronger and more able to cope. This winter has left me exhausted, mentally and physically. Sometimes I feel my head rules my body, so Ive asked for my antidepressant to be upped again to try to regain my balance. If I can remain calm, then that will help my panic attacks which can stop me doing everything.

Roll on the spring with the nice warm days. Ive so many plans for the backyard and allotment but I can't do it stuck in bed. Its strange but I'm not depressed about the thought of the transplant, but upset by the way I seem to have lost all my independance since my noro virus. I think I can regain my strength, but its going to take a long time.

My Alfie

My Jack Russell Alfie I swear is my little guardian Angel. I got him as a puppy when my health started it descent into crapness and I had a bout of depression. He fitted in straight away, only cried the first night and knew his name by the time I had got him home. I welled up when I said 'Alfie' to him in the car and he looked up at me with his huge eyes, that was his name. I believe dogs all come with names. I decided that I would call him Alfie when I first saw him, named him after my grandpa who I never got to meet, but felt somehow he was taking care of me when I was very ill in 2004.


Theres been a few times that Alfies looked after me and calmed me down.............but I loose count of how many creon tubs he's had and emptied all over the floor, or how many ventolin inhalers he's sabotaged (although I can't take much ventolin as it makes my heart go crazy, so maybe he was doing me a favour. :0).

Alfies first evening with us

'Help mommy I'm stuck'

Alfie, my mum, my sis and and max

First Posting

Well I'm not getting up to much so this may be a bit boring. I'm still recovering after my last stay in Papworth, chest feels ok but my energy levels are really low still. I'm hoping they will pick up a bit.

Ive a backlog of bracelets to make and send off. I'm making bracelets and selling them through my Justgiving page. Its going really well, been doing it a month and raised £498 already, Ive upped my total to £1000. I was making them like crazy when I was in Papworth. It kept me busy as they had no room for me on the CF Unit so I had no broadband and no laptop either. I must take some better photographs too, so far I've only got fuzzy ones taken on my mobile phone.